February Sucks - What If She Didn't...
Sorry this is yet another follow on of "February Sucks" by George Anderson.
I found the original story to be compelling, it felt like a punch in the guts, but I couldn't quite rationalise the behaviour of either Jim or Linda. I've seen other authors address this in some of the follows ups. This this version attempts to look at how they might have responded differently starting from Jim preventing his wife leaving with the 'villain of the peace' on the night in question.
Hope you enjoy it.
The first section is from George's original, some of the following text borrows from the original as well.
A few minutes later, the band took a break. In the relative quiet, we could hear loud laughter from another table, and turned to look.
"Hey, isn't that Marc LaValliere?" Phil was craning around me to see.
"It is, it is!" Dee squealed excitedly. Marc LaValliere was the star tight end on our city's football team. Unlike many others on the team, he made his year-round home here. He had the reputation of being a genuinely good guy, and he was as well known for his community activities as for his exploits on the field. Marc became the main topic of conversation at our table, as the guys talked about his football feats and the women praised his good works and good nature.
"It doesn't hurt that he's a hunk, either," Dee put in. Linda and I both knew who he was, but we weren't very interested in anything besides each other just then. We let the conversation wash over us, holding hands under the table.
"Hey, you two, get a room!" Linda and I looked at each other. We hadn't even been kissing. Well, not really kissing, anyway. My feeding her wings (so she wouldn't get sauce on her new dress, of course) didn't count. Besides, we'd already gotten a room. We were saved from further embarrassment when the band started again.
"Shall we dance here, or upstairs?" I whispered to Linda. Before she could reply, Jane interrupted.
"Look! He's coming this way!" Sure enough, Marc LaValliere had left his table and was heading for ours. I was amused by the reaction of the women at our table. Four of them primped and strutted, all but saying "pick me, pick me!" If you think a woman can't strut while she's sitting down, you have a lot to learn. Linda looked downward, and held my hand a little tighter.
"Hi, I'm Marc. Would you like to dance?" He was standing behind Linda's left shoulder, holding his hand out to her.
I felt Linda gasp as she dropped my hand as if it were a hot potato. I watched dumbstruck as she turned her back to me, gave Marc her right hand (it almost disappeared in his big paw) and gracefully rose from her chair.
"Hey, man, now my feelings are hurt. I thought she was just dancing with you tonight." Dave smiled as he needled me.
"Yeah, that's what I thought, too," I groused.
"Relax, Jim. It's just a dance." Jane tried to soothe me. I tried to believe her, but I couldn't help having a bad feeling about this.
The band played a couple of fast songs, and our whole table watched them dance. So did everyone else in the room. Marc was good, far better than I was, and Linda was clearly enjoying herself. Her partner and her dress combined to show her off to perfection.
"Don't they look great together? Come on, Jim, let's join them," Dee invited, clearly trying to distract me.
"Thanks, but no."
The next song was a slow one. I watched Linda melt into his arms, fitting perfectly as though she belonged there. He was good at that, too. Lots of practice, I'll bet, I thought to myself sourly. Marc said something to Linda; she smiled sweetly as she responded. He wasn't doing anything I could legitimately object to. He didn't dance any closer to her than I danced with Dee or Jane; his hands didn't go anywhere they weren't supposed to.
Another slow song, a ballad this time. I could see the band leader watching my wife and her partner, taking his cues from them. Marc was smiling as he held Linda in his arms; he was clearly pleased with whatever was going on. I'd seen enough. I rose from my chair, and felt Jane's hand on my arm.
"Wait, Jim. Let her have this. Don't ruin it for her."
I jerked my arm free and walked over standing next to them, trying my best to be polite:
"Would you mind if I cut in to have an anniversary dance with my wife?"
He just looked at me and held onto Linda: "I don't let anybody cut in."
Anger building I struggled to make sense of the position, feeling worse as I was suddenly conscious that everyone was looking in our direction. I turned to Linda but she hadn't moved.
"I'd like you to come with me" and held out my hand.
Shit she hesitated! I was stunned and thought she wasn't going to come with me that would be very awkward, Linda looked around and became very embarrassed, eventually she spoke.
"Sorry Marc, I should go."
He didn't look happy but let her go. I took her hand and led her back to our table. I was rattled: why was she sorry to him and clearly not me.
As we sat she hissed: "Why did you do that, you embarrassed me, whatever will Marc think of me."
"I did it because I wanted to dance with my wife, and frankly I couldn't give a shit about Marc thinks. You're sorry to him but not to me, exactly who do you want to spend your anniversary with."
She almost spat her reply "The way you are behaving, him actually!"
The table was deathly quiet.
I took a breath: "I need some fresh air I think we should go back to the hotel and talk."
She glared in response "You go if you like, I'm not leaving."
"Fine then if that's how you feel" and I walked out, but not before I caught the smirk on the face of Marc fucking LaValliere".
I expected Linda to catch me up but she didn't. My anger cooled as I walked the block and a half to the hotel, it was replaced by the deepest sadness I had ever known. I walked slowly and kept looking back but she wasn't there. Linda and I were supposed to be making this walk together, holding hands. Instead, I was alone as I entered what was supposed to have been our room. I turned on the light, and shut the door behind me. Suddenly, I was weary beyond the telling and flopped onto the bed.
Still I waited but no sign of Linda. I was hoping she was staying out with our friends and making a point, but maybe she was dancing with Marc again or worse. I considered going back but my pride wouldn't allow it. I shook my head, she actually said she would rather be with him!
I must have dozed off. When I came to, it was almost 1am and I was slumped over on the bed with an ache in my back. Linda was standing staring at me, it must have been her coming in that disturbed my sleep. I groggily come to and sat up as the memories of the night came flooding back to me.
Linda started: "Well thank you for a lovely anniversary, for embarrassing me in front of our friends and the whole bar, and before you accuse me of anything else, I just stayed chatting to our friends like we had planned, before you decided to run off in a selfish huff."
I looked at her somewhat bewildered; her certainty that she was 100% blameless was staggering.
"The only thing I did was ask my wife to dance; quite politely as I recall and you seemed to get very upset because I spoiled your moment with another man. You practically ran onto the floor with him, tell me at any part of the three dances did you consider either me or our anniversary."
She avoided a direct answer: "It was just dancing."
"That's not what your eyes and smile were saying, I'm your husband, I should be jealous when you look at another man like that. Did you mean it, that you would rather be with him?"
"Of course not, you were just acting like an idiot, so I threw that at you. Maybe I was having a moment with him, he's handsome an elite athlete and charming, I felt special but it was just a moment, I'll always want you, it's you I love."
"I love you too, maybe too much."
The energy seemed to drain from us both, we agreed to get some sleep and talk about it in the morning. We lay in the same bed it was tense and neither of us slept much, the plans for anniversary romance were a distant bitter memory.
We didn't really talk about it the next morning, we picked up the kids from Mrs Porter and made our way back home. The kids helped paper over the tension but I felt very unsettled and Linda remained somewhat distant. I had this uneasy feeling but couldn't pin it down, it occurred to me that she had been quick to point out that she stayed with our friends but then she hadn't returned until 1am. Maybe she was just proving a point after the argument, maybe. Usually we recovered from any arguments quickly and enjoy making up but this was lingering. I heard Linda on the phone to Dee, no doubt conducting a post mortem of the night's events and confirming I was an arsehole.
Their conversations can last hours so I decided to go back to the club. I knew the owner Brett pretty well; he was there last night and would hopefully confirm Linda stayed chatting to our friends into the small hours.
Brett was at the bar and I made the usually jokes about him living there and never going home. He'd seen our argument and knew why I was there.
"You did the right thing Jim, LaValliere is a prize prick and he goes after married women all the time. I think he gets off on taking another man's women and actually prefers it if the guy is there, it's like single women aren't enough of a challenge to him. You would be amazed: faithful wives I've known for years seem unable resist he usually leaves with them on the same night. A couple of guys tried to fight him, but that didn't work out too well for them.
That news didn't fill me with any confidence, but Brett quickly confirmed Linda and ours friends had been the last to leave just before 1am. I must have physically signed with relief as he looked at me. Then I caught it, just a hint of a hesitation.
"What else is there Brett?"
"It's probably nothing and I wouldn't like to cast any aspersions..."
"Go on... "
"LaValliere did go over to their table, he seemed to be chatting to all of them, nothing was inappropriate and I figured he might be apologising for any problems he caused, they were all smiling and he was only there for 10 minutes or so."
That didn't seem so bad I figured.
Brett continued "one other thing, they all know we're friends Jim and I saw Linda look over a couple of times, so..."
He didn't have to say it; they knew they had an audience.
When I came home, Linda seemed brighter; we chatted about the kids and enjoyed a meal. From then on things seemed to settle back into normal routine. By Tuesday Linda was more upbeat; I started hoping we were putting everything behind us. As we finished eating she breezily mentioned going over to see Dee on Friday.
On Friday I asked what time Linda was going over to Dee's and she mentioned leaving about 7pm. She jumped into the bath at 6, at 6.30 she was in some shapeless joggers and sweat top and getting ready to go, she carried down a small hold all and left it by the door.
"You need to think carefully about what you are doing Linda."
She didn't reply, so I continued...
"I know where you are going."
Linda launched into an angry response: "Fine so you're jealous gain, I'm going to a friend's that's all; ask Dee if you don't believe me. Or are you going to stop me seeing my friends as well like some control freak, you don't own me, it's my life."
For the first time in our marriage I screamed:
"Just stop. Stop fucking lying!"
She flinched I never swear at her, it shocked her into silence.
"You usually leave your phone around the house, but you've never let it leave your side since last Friday, you even took it into the bathroom with you. I'm guessing you have deleted his calls or texts but can't risk me seeing a new one. It must mean you exchanged numbers on our anniversary night, how romantic. I'm also guessing your makeup, heels, dress and even stockings are hidden in your hold all, shall we look or are you going to stop."
She sat down.
I continued "You've lied to me more this week than in the whole of our marriage."
"I'm sorry, I am going to meet him"
"You are or you were?" I asked.
"I'm sorry about lying, I was thinking you didn't need to know and it would hurt you less. I love you so much but I do want this, a moment for myself to feel desired by a man like him, he could have picked anyone but chose me. It's just sex... a fling, a few fleeting hours compared to a lifetime spent with you."
"It's not just sex, its betrayal, lying, losing the intimacy of what we share... its trust... its everything."
"Yes, but now you know, so that's better, no more lying and it is just sex. We love each other, this is just a one-time experience, compared to all the years and all the love we will have together. It isn't a big deal, unless you make it one. I'll come home to you; I know I won't lose you over this. You're too good a man to let that happen."
I looked at her perplexed, she must be living in some sort of alternate universe if that's what she really thought. I gave up on the moral arguments as she seemed lost in some nonsensical romantic fantasy.
"Have you thought about any other implications of your actions?
"What implications, it's just sex."
"OK, let's start with practical stuff. What time are you coming back?"
"Ermm...I...I don't know."
"What happens if he asks you to spend the night?"
"Well, I guess I would... if he asked."
"Great so it's more than a quickie, you're expecting to go at it a few times, maybe try new things. What would you like me to tell kids when you're not here in the morning?"
"Maybe that I'm at a friend's."
"So you want me to lie to our children?"
"They don't need to know, they are too young to understand."
"At least that bits true, they really wouldn't understand. I presume Dee knows as she was you cover story."
"Yes."
"What about the others?" I could see her hesitate: "Don't start lying again."
"They saw me give him my number. I guess they know I was thinking about something with him."
"Great, so now our so called friends know I'll be a cuckold husband, that's just brilliant. It's a whole new level of humiliation. And not one of them thought to warm me."
"You're not a cuckold; you're a strong and wonderful man. I wouldn't let him or them disrespect you."
"Oh it's too late for that my darling wife, you already have. Are you taking condoms?"
"What. I ermm... no I didn't think."
"You should, he gets about, there's a high risk of STDs, but he'll probably refuse to use them, he's an arrogant prick and will want it on his terms, he's used to getting what he wants. You'll need a trip to clinic before I put myself at risk."
"You're being ridiculous, I'm sure he clean, he's an athlete."
"Do you expect to come back to our bed, do I get sloppy seconds."
"Don't be a pig, it's not like that. Don't make it into something sordid."
"It's a serious question, would I reclaim you as my wife harshly or make love to you tenderly, whilst trying not to recall how he touched you and if you are comparing me to him. I mean that is the whole point isn't it, to have someone better?"
"It's not a competition, we might need a bit of time but I'd want you to make love to me, I am still yours, not his and I'll... I'll get some condoms."
I just raised an eyebrow, knowing she wouldn't stop him. "What if he asks you to stay tomorrow or come back next weekend?"
"He won't, it's just a one off."
"But if he did would you?"
"No, of course not, it would be wrong, more of an affair."
"So, let's imagine its everything you're dreaming of, he has a massive cock, can go all night and pleasures you in ways I can never match. You're saying you could say 'no' then, even though you can't say 'no' now when none of that might be true."
"Yes, I could because I'd choose you a thousand times over him. What you and I have together is more important, he won't have my heart or love."
"But you're not choosing me now. I'll bet he suggests you staying overnight, and tomorrow. He'll want to prove he won and can take you from me; he'll be frustrated you didn't go straight with him last Friday. He's used to getting what he wants especially from women."
"You don't know that, he's a nice guy, you'd like him if you talked to him."
"Of all the things he is, he is not a nice guy, he's a charmer, smooth, but nice guys don't take other peoples wives just because they can. He's an arrogant prick but you can't see it. Brett said he does it all the time, he looks for the most attractive women, but always married women, I guess it adds thrill to take wants he wants and humiliate the guy. Didn't you see it when I tried to cut in, I thought he was going to swing for me. Would you like that, your new beau beating up your hapless husband?"
"No of course not, don't even think about stuff like that, you would get hurt."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence; it's quite clear how you view me."
"He's an..."
"... an athlete I know."
"You're saying it's just a thing he does and I could be anyone. Well he made it obvious he was attracted to me and made me feel so good just talking to me and he WAS a really nice guy."
"Don't play the I'm not attractive crisis card, you know you are and I tell you all of the time, guys look at you all the time but I always trusted you. This isn't about you being neglected, feeling underappreciated, controlled or unattractive, you just want your cake and to eat it. He will arrange something to whisk you away impress you, flash cars, restaurants whatever. He'll drive little wedges between us and show you the life you are missing out on. He might want you to stay permanently."
"No he won't it's just a one off, I'll be using him more than the other way around. It doesn't matter what he wants, it's what I want that matters."
"And does what I want come into it" I was feeling exasperated: "What do you think I should do when you are away? Let's see the classic options seem to be: get drunk, stare at the ceiling, look through our wedding album, look after the kids, run away, find a prostitute maybe.
"I'll be back so soon, and make it all up; we'll be alright, stronger than ever, you'll see."
"No we won't. I am not alright. I've never been less alright in my whole life but still you want to go. I don't know who you are anymore, you really couldn't care about the impact to me, it's all about you. Its supposed to be guys who think with what is between their legs; you're not thinking about me or the kids."
"Don't bring the kids into this, this doesn't affect them."
"It already has... we are arguing."
"So stop arguing and let me do this."
Nothing I said was getting through; there was a long silence,
Finally I said "Give it a week." Linda looked up confused.
"If you're serious about this give it a week, cancel tonight. Give us both time to make the right decisions, time to think and make sure we can survive this, whatever this is. If you want to do it at the end of the week I won't stop you."
Linda looked suspicious, "I don't know, it would just drag things out and Marc might not like it."
Again the concern about Marc but I bit my tongue.
"Put him off, be honest, tell him you want to but you're trying to save your marriage and arrange next week. He'll accept, he will like the challenge and that fact we are in turmoil."
"But what will change in a week?"
"There will be some conditions, you don't seem to trust my advice anymore, so you need to ask someone else, who's opinion do you value the most?"
"What, well my mum I guess and Dee."
"Dee really! Ok tell them what you intend to do and ask their advice." r"
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